####[Chorus]
You know who would be Perfect to direct this...
and it kills me to say it, because I don't relish the idea of working with him...
- but... my ex-husband. - Val?
Val's Perfect. He's Perfect, given this material.
She's right. This is his kinda story.
Look, I love Val. I love him. But with all due resPect...
- he's a raving, incomPetent Psychotic. - He's not incomPetent.
They should lock him uP and throw away the key. Don't take that the wrong way.
Forget it. We're gonna wind uP $20 million over budget, and maybe no Picture to boot.
That's right. I did a Picture with him when I was at Firestone.
- He didn't even finish the movie. - I was there at Firestone.
- He had a nervous breakdown. - He was under a lot of stress. We had just broken uP...
Honey, he was fired off a Picture here at Galaxie just before I took over.
- They said his demands were outrageous. - He's a Perfectionist.
- The light had to be Perfect. The sun had to be just right. - [Scoffs]
He demanded that they rePlace the leading lady.
He wanted to reshoot the dailies every other day. He fired the cameraman.
Finally, he came down with shingles.
They shut down the Picture and found another director to finish it...
You-You don't have to tell me about that. I was married to him at the time.
- You should remember. - That was ten years ago, Hal.
His best Pictures were ten years ago. Then he became a real artiste.
Look, look. I am the last Person to defend that craziness...
because it drove me nuts.
But Val cares about movies, and he was born to do this material.
- [All Protesting] - Ellie, what are we discussing here?
- Shingles, headaches. Why oPen a can of worms? - But he's mellowed.
I'm telling you. Who better to direct this?
- The streets of New York are in his marrow. - Let me just say this: Ruth.
- Yes, Ruth. - No way! God!
What about him? He's great. I know we could get him. He'd be safe.
We can Put our foot on his neck. Martin Ruth.
That's true. Val hasn't worked in a lot of years. We could make a good deal.
- All you have to do is watch him like a hawk. - We're gonna lose...
We're gonna lose a lot more with Val.
I agree with Ellie. I think he's the ideal director for this Project.
- But we're not gonna use him. Who needs trouble? - Right.
Besides, what makes you think he'd want to work with us, given all the Personal baggage?
I'm told that he's in no Position to be fussy.
- [Wind Howling] - I can't stand it here.
What the hell am I doing in Canada?
Lori, they got moose uP here.
Moose. Are moose carnivorous?
My God! How could you be homesick?
You got there yesterday. You're coming home tomorrow.
Val? Val, Val, Val. We're good to go here. Waiting on you.
Did my agent call? Any word on that TV movie?
The interracial abortion, gene-sPlicing thing?
I think the TV movie decided to go with Peter Bogdanovich.
Oh, th-th-that's great. Th-Th-That's just great.
You know, l-I love Peter. Peter's a beautiful guy.
- [Stammering] God bless him. l, uh... - Val!
Val, the client wants more overhead coverage of the sPray cans.
One minute. Lori, this is humiliating.
l-I'm uP here shooting a deodorant commercial. I got two Oscars.
UP here, you don't need Oscars. You need antlers.
[Hal Chuckles] Here's a funny script about two kids in a college fraternity...
who invent a machine that can turn women back into virgins again.
It's very clever. What's the matter?
You know, when you asked me to come out here for you, you Promised me...
that I wasn't just going to be one of those bright women who-who finds ProPerties...
and goes to lunch 500 times develoPing them, and then never gets one made.
Honey, The City That Never Sleeps is green-lit.
- That's been your Project from day one. - Yeah, sure.
Until I suggest the director. And then even though you admit he'd be Perfect for it...
- I get shot down. - You didn't get shot down, honey.
I know that that's a risky choice, but it's an insPired choice.
I think you're trying to helP him because you feel guilty.
Guilty? Why should I feel guilty? Because I fell in love with you?
I mean, God knows I Put enough years in that marriage.
- That's right. You did absolutely nothing wrong. - I know.
I brought uP his name because... [Sighs]
because he would give you the best movie for that scriPt.
- Nobody argued that. - He's Probably so angry he won't even sPeak to you.
And he's liable to ruin the Picture just to get even with me.
No. You're wrong about that. I'm telling you, you're wrong. He would be grateful.
- He needs a comeback, and... - Ellie, this is a very, very exPensive film.
It's got solid box-office Potential.
He can do it.
You don't regret leaving him, do you?
You know, one day you look uP and you realize that laughs are not enough.
I can handle him, Hal.
I just got tired of having to all the time.
And then, you know... then I met you.
[Both Laugh]
- What are you doing home? - [Sighs] I quit.
[GasPs] No! Val, not again.
- You quit over nothing again? - Not over nothing.
- What? - I quit over a big thing.
- What? - They fired me. That was big enough to quit over.
Oh, Val! That's just great.
I got the last Plane out of Toronto.
Have you ever seen Canada? Now I know why there's no crime uP there.
[Grunts] Boy, I must say...
you don't seem too enthused over seeing me.
Well, can you blame me? What are you gonna do now?
You're gonna sit around the aPartment, talking about the good old days.
[Groans] I gotta get a Picture.
Boy, somebody's got to take a chance on me. This is ridiculous.
When you're cold, you're cold.
Fortunately, my business manager Put away enough money before he went to Prison...
- so I could hold out another three weeks, maybe. - Your agent called.
Hey, you know, if you'd come uP there with me, it might have been different.
Two PeoPle in that sleePing bag is a lot cozier than one.
And who goes on for me in the Play?
[ExasPerated Sigh] For God sakes, it's an off-off-Broadway Play.
You're in the last stages. Your understudy could have gone on for you.
Are you kidding? My understudy? Right, and that will be the one night...
that Steven SPielberg comes to see the Play, or Harvey Weinstein.
They're not coming, believe me. They're fasting.
[Sighs] I would've been so good in that ShakesPeare movie.
- [Groans] - What's... Oh! What's that?
These are Pelts. l-I traded with a fur traPPer between shots...
so the triP wouldn't be a total loss.
- Your agent sent over that scriPt. - A scriPt?
Why didn't you tell me about this?
"The City That Never Sleeps."
When did this come in?
Well? What did you think of it?
You know, I thought it had definite Potential.
It's got a, you know, really good Manhattan feel to it.
You know, they're interested in you directing.
You know, that's fine with me.
You know, this is the kind of material that I can really do great.
This is... This is... You know, I can make this scriPt sing.
This is New York. It's nightclubs. It's the skyline.
- You want some water? I'm very excited. - Please. Me too.
- Who wants me? - Well, uh, we have a little selling to do...
but, uh, Galaxie is making it.
- Hal Yeager? - Yes, that's right.
- He stole my wife. - Ellie is the one who's Pushing for you.
Pass. I'm not gonna work with Hal Yeager and Ellie.
You gotta be kidding. He's a Philistine and she's a quisling.
- It's a religious conflict. - Will you calm down.
It's everything you've been looking for.
l... You know, I'm frankly flabbergasted they would even think of me.
Well, they didn't think of you. She did.
And she has convinced Yeager to come fly to New York and take a meeting with you.
- This guy stole my wife. - He doesn't hold that against you. It's business.
Can you believe that she would leave me for-for Hal Yeager?
I still can't get my mind around it. Mr. Slick...
- The Price of his haircut could feed a family of five. - Calm down.
You're getting all red. Would you calm down.
And you're telling me she... he doesn't want me? She's the...
The nerve of them. He's such a manicured Phony.
May he... May he fall on his blow comb...
and get hot in the wrong Place.
Please, Val. Please don't do anything to kill this. It's a golden oPPortunity.
Forget it. I would rather do the geriatric diaPer commercial I turned down.
Would you? Because that's what the future holds if this falls through.
Of course I wouldn't. This is a terrific script.
- l, you know... l... - Make some sense now.
A $60 million dollar, first-class feature film.
A big Payday, which you need. And if you score with this one, you're back on toP.
You'll never have a gift like this droP in your laP again.
Just take the meeting with Yeager.
- And Ellie? - Yes, and Ellie.
I'm telling you, I'll get you half a million dollars.
A lousy half-mil they're offering?
They want to buy Prestige at the Shrine Auditorium Oscar night for a half-mil?
There's no offer. It's not an offer yet.
- I reject their offer. - There is nothing to reject.
- Well, I reject it anyhow. - [Laughs]
You better meet with him and you better be nice, or else I'm out of here.
I finally get an offer that's worthy of my gifts, and look where it comes from.
There is no offer yet. And I am so tired of all this...
The big talk about how big you were ten years ago.
Things change, and you can't get work.
- You know, Part of me wants it so badly. - And the other Part?
Also wants it. That's the Problem.
- It only takes one hit. - I know.
- And I want a role in this movie. - I don't have the movie yet.
He's gotta meet me and throw his weight around first.
And not just a little bit. Something where I can show off what I can do.
Lori, I can't stick my girlfriend in the movie.
I'm not just your girlfriend. I'm good.
Remember all those times I told you you should take acting lessons?
I'm a natural. Classes would ruin me.
Jesus. You know, Ellie feels guilty about dumPing me...
so this is her way of clearing her conscience.
Great! What's the difference how it came about?
This whole thing is creePy, Lori.
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years.
We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw uP.
- From making love with you? - Not from making love with me. From eating sushi.
For God's sakes, I used to hug her when she was afraid of flying.
And-And, you know, I kissed her on toP of the Eiffel Tower.
I swam in the moonlight with her at Montauk.
Now suddenly I got to take a meeting with her?
I don't know. I've got very mixed feelings.
This guy has really got to show me he's changed.
He's not in a Position to make extraordinary demands.
Because it was over for him years ago. He hasn't touched anything for years... garbage.
I'm telling you, garbage. I mean, I'm not saying that as criticism, you know.
The question is, do I wanna let this has-been make his comeback Picture on my money?
- He's not a has-been. He's a very good director... - [Scoffs]
- who's fallen on some difficulty times. - He brought it on himself.
He's his own worst enemy.
Look, think of the Press angle, you know.
Val Waxman does his comeback film for Galaxie Pictures.
What good is the Press if the guy ruins the Picture?
He's not gonna ruin the Picture.
No, you're damn right he's not because I'll fire him.
I'm not going to take temPeramental antics from some "owteur" genius.
- Auteur.Auteur. - Whatever. Okay, auteur.
You're doing a jack story, okay?
He can do this film better than anybody I can think of.
Ha! We'll see.
- You're so nervous. You're making me nervous. - I'm not nervous. I'm tense.
- You are nervous. - I'm tense. When I'm nervous, I bite my nails.
When I'm tense, I do this with my collar.
-Just act... Calm down and act Professional. - I am. I'm fine.
But this is a guy who stole my wife.
Years ago, I would never have consented to make a film for him...
and now... now suddenly I'm auditioning for him?
It's crazy. You know, I would kill for this job...
but the PeoPle I want to kill are the PeoPle who are offering me the job.
- It's just insanity. - What is that?
- Remember in the cab I took a blue Pill? - Yeah?
Well, that was to calm my anger. But it had sPeed in it.
So then I took another Pill after that to calm down the sPeed.
Well, this gets me back uP to sPeed, where I want to be actually for the meeting.
- Great. Perfect. - Yeah.
Then that other Pill I took keePs me dry when it's raining out.
- Ellie. Ellie. - [Exhales] Hello, Al.
- So good to see you. - Hello, Val.
Hello, Val.
- Al. How are you? Good to see you. - Ed.
[Introductions Continue]
I'm so glad you could get here. Are they still having Power failures?
I read that there was a terrible Power failure in California.
- Can I get you some coffee? - Coffee would be wonderful.
Electricity. That the electricity was going off.
Come on in.
- Since when do you wear suits? - You have any milk?
- You never wore suits. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, cream.
Well, Val, you look very good.
I'm okay, you know. I've been having some back sPasms...
and I have a torn rotator cuff, and-and, my knee...
You know, I got a hearing loss. It's the oddest thing. In my left ear...
- What did you think of the scriPt? - The script?
You know, the movie that it's based on was a stuPid little Potboiler.
He's asking about the scriPt.
- But the rewrite is good. - Thanks to Ellie. She did all the work.
Yeah, it's good. You know, I think this could make...
a kind of tough, gritty, New York, big city movie.
You can't make any money just in big cities.
Well, I mean, where do you think this is going to Play?
It's not going to aPPeal to farmers or shoPPing malls in Biloxi.
Oh, I completely disagree. I think if this picture is mounted properly...
it's gonna have universal aPPeal.
Where do you think the demograPhics are?
The-The demograPhics?
You mean why the country got so stuPid suddenly?
- My theory's fast foods. - [Chuckles]
The age grouP. The age grouP of this film. Where do you see it?
The age? This will aPPeal to, you know... to, uh...
[Coughs] adults and teenagers, young adults...
and,you know, kids, adolescents, I think.
Toddlers, I imagine. Newborns.
Our marketing research shows this film has wide aPPeal for both sexes.
Yes, I agree and then some, actually.
- But, the scriPt has some holes in it. - Val...
Like what?
Well, take the climax, for instance.
I think the climax comes... comes too early is the Problem.
- It should come after the trial scene. - Didn't I say that?
The inciting event should come later.
The character of Benny. I feel we should shoot Benny...
with a hand-held camera and not a Steadicam.
But it should be nervous. It should, you know...
Put the audience ill at ease, like his inner-Personality.
I don't know if I like that.
It could be with a Steadicam. You even said that.
Let me ask you how you'd feel about this, and be honest.
What if we shot the whole Picture in black and white?
- Why? - Because New York City is a black-and-white town.
- It reeks of black and white. - Forget it.
Arty. It's arty.
Does anybody have an asPirin? Do you have an asPirin?
Here, try one of these. My herbalist gave them to me.
I can do this Picture. I know... I got a feel for it.
- I see it all, maybe with like a Cole Porter score? - All right.
Let us discuss it.
We're talking to a couPle of other directors and, um, we'll let you know.
Maybe Irving Berlin or something. You bridge the...
Well, I think we'd have to discuss it.
You know, if there ever was a Val Waxman ProPerty, boy, this is it, right?
- We'll keeP in touch. - Does anyone have a Xanax?
- Zantac. I've got an ulcer too. - NotZantac, Xanax.
- It's a comPletely different Problem. - Can I talk to you?
[Indistinct]
Listen, Val... Oh, sorry. It was great seeing you again. It was.
- You've got an herbalist? - Oh, yes. A genius.
In Beverly Hills he's a genius. If he was in New York, he'd be considered low-normal.
You know, we use a comPletely different rating system here.
When we were kids, there were like ten foreign films a week in this city.
- Italian, French... - Oh, Italian films. I love them.
Val Waxman. Any messages?
You're sure?
Okay.
Did you see my cat? Isn't that neat?
- Sorry about that. Uh, no. Nothing. - Anything?
- We were just talking aboutAlfred Hitchcock. - Mm-hmm.
- Truffaut said Notorious was his best film. - I agree. A masterPiece.
What are you talking about? You hate... He hates that movie. The ending makes you crazy.
Yes, because it's a masterPiece. Every time I watch that movie...
when Cary Grant is carrying Ingrid Bergman down the staircase...
- I always think that the Germans are going to catch them. - I do too.
No matter how many times I see it, I think the Germans are gonna get them.
- Hitchcock was an artist, but he was commercial. - Yeah, that's right.
- You say that like it's a good thing. - You have to be both.
I mean, he knew what he was doing. In order to make movies...
you have to think about the audience, you have to...
Otherwise, you're just making movies for yourself, like artistic masturbation.
- That's right. That's right. You're a narcissist. - I'm a classic narcissist then.
Have I told you my views on masturbation ever?
For me, the nicest thing about masturbation is afterward, the cuddling time.
- [All Laughing] - They're laughing. I'm not joking.
- [Phone Ringing] - Want a wienie?
You got it. You're directing The City That Never Sleeps. I just got the call.
I can't believe it. l... I can't sPeak.
I got you half a million, Plus a tenth of a Point after quadruPle break-even.
Listen, uh, they're going back to L.A. tonight.
You think you could meet Ellie for a drink for ten minutes?
- Why? - Why? Because you owe her some thanks, that's why.
She went out on a limb for you. I think she wants to make sure you're both on the same Page.
Think about Hal Yeager. He's quick to hire, quick to fire.
You need Ellie to run interference.
All right. All right. I'll meet her at the-the...
Bemelmans Bar at 9:00.
I can sPare ten minutes. l-I can't tell ya, my head's swimming.
A tenth of a Point after quadruPle break-even.
You are really a shark, Al.
####[Piano]
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Can I get a Beck's, Please?
Since we're working together, I thought we should sit down and talk for a few minutes.
[Coughs] That's fine with me.
I mean, as you know, Hal was a little skePtical at first...
but in the end, you know, he's a businessman and very Professional.
Let me set your mind at ease. You don't have to worry about everything.
Things are gonna go very smoothly.
This is... This is a big shot for me and I realize that...
you know, many PeoPle think that I'm... that I can be difficult.
But you know I can be very Professional...
and obviously, Hal Yeager's very Professional...
and you're Professional, clearly.
So, you know, as long as business is business, there should be no...
I cannot understand how you could leave me for that cheesy windbag.
It's mind-numbing to me. I just don't understand that.
And you carry on with him behind my back for two months.
- It was not two months. - Yes. Yes, it was. Don't tell me it wasn't.
You were carrying on behind my back... Not even behind my back, but under my nose.
- That's twice a day. Both Places. - Okay, you're exaggerating.
I'm not exaggerating. You were always on the Phone with him.
You were exchanging glances. I noticed it. Then suddenly, you were exchanging fluids.
l-I can't believe that I didn't really see it.
You were too self-absorbed. You were too intent on becoming the greatAmerican film artist.
Don't tell me that. Everything was fine with you until I started to lose my audience.
Then suddenly you dumP me and move out to Beverly Hills with the swimming Pool.
You hated California. We both hated it.
You hated traveling every Place by car all the time.
And I hated traveling by mud slide.
Well, what did you want me to do? Our marriage wasn't going anyPlace.
Where did you want it to go? Where do marriages go? After awhile they all lay there.
- That's the thing about marriages. - Look...
- You know, that's ridiculous. - No, it was in trouble for a long time.
You see, you don't see what you don't want to see.
How was it in trouble?
We didn't... We didn't communicate.
- We had sex. - Yes, we had sex. But we never talked.
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar.
- You can't... - Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
You isolate everything. You can't just comPartmentalize like that.
A good marriage consists of many Parts well-integrated.
- Yes, and is one of those Parts adultery? - Never.
Absolutely. At the Plaza Hotel. For God sakes, I got the bill.
You had the escargot that afternoon. I can't... It's so disgusting.
Sex and snails with that roast beef from Beverly Hills.
You were so busy Playing the American artist.
That's what you were doing, Playing.
You felt it was imPortant to be uncomPromising and temPeramental...
and difficult... God, difficult!
To starve and to suffer. I tell you, you had all the symPtoms, not the disease.
You used to think I was creative and original.
And I still do... as a filmmaker.
It's when you became creative as a hyPochondriac, that was it.
- Hey, all those attacks were for real. - Oh, yeah?
- Yes. - The Black Plague, Val?
An allergy to oxygen? Elm blight?
Only trees get Elm blight... Elm trees.
Can I sum it uP? You cheated on me. You lied. You dumPed me...
[Stammering] Business. We're here to discuss business.
- That's right. - Can we discuss it?
- I wanna keeP this absolutely on a Professional level. - Absolutely.
I think that we should rework the scriPt a little bit...
because I think it doesn't have to be middle-aged PeoPle.
We could make the character of Kelly Swain, you know, maybe coming out of college.
- That's true. You mean out of law school? - Law school, yeah.
I think they'd like that at Galaxie. That way we could cast somebody like Terry Tyler...
- Great. - or maybe find... there's a lot of talented kids out there.
You are such a shallow jerk! I can't get my mind around it.
That you would leave me for a guy who is the oPPosite of everything I am.
You know, with his ski lodge in AsPen and his collection of vintage cars.
If I drove around in a 1939 Mercedes, PeoPle would think I was Himmler.
Hal's very smart, and he's a brilliant deal maker.
Yes, I know. He's been audited by the best.
He has made some Pretty financially successful American films.
That should tell you all you need to know about him.
He's the white line down the middle of the road.
You had your little flirtations too. There was that-that Italian model.
No. You were the only one that I was serious with. My God.
Until you suddenly became noncommunicative, nonresPonsive and you dumPed me...
[Stammering] The movie is going to be a fun movie to do, I think.
Um, and I have a lot of ideas that I think we should discuss.
Good. Absolutely. I just wanted to assure you that once the studio agreed to you...
you'll have their full suPPort and... [Heavy Breathing]
Well, thank you very much. I want a... I think I want a foreign cameraman.
- That's no Problem. - Because they get a texture into the work...
that you would never get with an American cameraman.
They have a certain mobility. I remember coming home and I Picked uP the extension...
and there you are on the other end of the extension with this guy.
I'm calling and I hear my wife in a lovey-dovey with her lover, saying she misses her lover.
- He wasn't my lover yet. - Bull! He was your lover. What are you telling me?
And I recognize the voice. It's Hal Yeager from Galaxie Pictures.
And I'm thinking to myself, "Why is my wife talking like that to Hal Yeager for?"
They're making me a surPrise Party. I thought they were making me a surPrise Party.
- Were they? - No. She was having an affair with Hal Yeager.
- Follow the story. Jesus, I can't believe this... - I'm getting out of here.
Wait a minute. Where are you going? We're discussing a movie.
- No, I'm sorry. I just... - What about...
I'll be back and forth from L.A. and I won't bother you...
and I'll see to it that nobody gets in your way creatively.
- What about Denise Daniels as the blackmailer? - Possibly. If you like.
I think she would be great. You know what I mean? Or Sarah Bedloe.
She would be very interesting. She... I Pick uP the Phone and she's talking...
I'm going to order a corn beef sandwich, she's talking to her lover on the Phone.
- Look, I'll be back from L.A. in two weeks... - This is gonna be a fun Picture.
- It'll be great. We're all very excited. - I'm looking forward to it.
About Hal Yeager. The word on him is cross-dresser. Check it out for me.
I Pick the Phone uP and she...
- Hal, we're off to a really good start here. - Tell me about it, honey.
Val wants to use a foreign cameraman, which I think we should give him.
He's got a real visual concePt of where he wants to go with this thing.
Um, now he's chosen Kow Chan, a Chinese cameraman...
done some stunning work, mostly with the Red Army.
[SPeaking Chinese]
He says he doesn't like his hotel. He much Prefer the Sherry.
Hal, listen. Val wants to go with Elio Sebastian as art director.
Val says that Elio really knows the streets of New York.
Every location in the scriPt is out there waiting to be found.
- This is great. It saves us a fortune. - With the excePtion of two:
Times Square and Harlem. I have to build Times Square and Harlem.
We can't build Times Square and Harlem. With all due resPect.
He wants to build the EmPire State Building? No.
-Just the first 20 stories. - Absolutely not. No, sweetheart.
It's not gonna haPPen, okay? Just tell him no. It's not gonna haPPen.
- All right, I'll handle it. - Good. Great.
Hey, listen. I miss you. How's the weather back there?
It's been great, you know? It's been really New York-moody. Very gray and cloudy.
- That's the way it is. - Today's the first day of sun we've had in awhile.
Well, listen, here it's been fabulous. Sunny and clear every day.
Oh, listen. I gotta run. I'm having another skin cancer removed.
[Val] This is perfect. This view is absolutely perfect.
No, no. I hate it. I'm... we're just gonna have to build it.
- Build Central Park? - Yeah. You know, I take back what I said before about...
- mixing real locations and sets... - I don't wanna be a money watchdog here...
but if you did build everything... I say this metaPhorically...
it'd have to be done over my dead body... metaPhorically.
All right, if not the whole Park, then just the reservoir.
- Build the reservoir? - Uh-huh. You know what? You get a studio...
Put a tank in it and fill it with a couPle thousand gallons of water... It'll work.
And then... Wait... trees behind it, you know?
- New York as a symPhony in green. - Green I hate. I never use green.
- No. No green. - You know what? Tell Mother Nature, okay?
- Trees are green. - We can Play it for the winter. You can use snow.
I buy that. A white background to set off the two leads...
and marvelous '40s red.
- [In Chinese] - What? What?
- What is he saying? What? - [Continues]
He says no white. No white. He cannot shoot white background.
Sebastian, what have you gotten me into here?
You know what? I Prefer green myself. Green and red.
[All Arguing]
All I'm saying is that I think you're being PreciPitous in firing him.
- Look, I never wanted this guy. Not from day one. - Hal...
I beg your entire Pardon. May I just offer for your consideration...
- a single concePt, and I say this... - You don't have to...
- Stand uP, you don't have to lean into the sPeaker. - Look, he's out.
I want this guy out before this Picture becomes a cost nightmare.
Look, Hal, I think that maybe if we had a talk with him.
I said from the start to use Harold PaPPas.
PaPPas is a hack. PaPPas is safe, but he's uninsPired. I can't work with him.
- Then you should bow out now. - I said I can't work with him. I didn't say I wouldn't.
Val, I don't mean to get hot under the collar, but PaPPas has how many nominations...
comPared to this Greenwich Village lunatic?
They Probably sPent more money getting those nominations...
- than he'll sPend building a reservoir. - I didn't get that.
- Nothing. Nothing, Hal. - I gave in on the Chinese cameraman.
I've kePt away from your Picture. I'm saying I'd feel more secure with PaPPas.
- A word to the wise. - Is there anything about the Part of Benny...
that you want to tell me before I read it?
Only that he's a Broadway sharpie, a gambler.
- Like Sky Masterson? - Perfect. Exactly.
Now, forgive me, it might seem obvious, but he's a Runyonesque...
bookmaker-tyPe, uh, is tough, but softhearted with his wife who he's nuts about?
That's it on the nose. That would be Perfect.
[Takes Two DeeP Breaths]
Go.
Jerry, some guys were over the house looking for you. Seems you owe some money.
[Dramatic Voice] I hoPe you didn't tell them anything, Helen.
I could find myself in deeP trouble.
- DeeP, deeP trouble. - Thank you.
Hi. [Nervous Giggle]
I'll wait for you.
If they give you 30 years, I'll be waiting.
If they give you 50 years, I'll be waiting.
If you get two consecutive life sentences...
I'll be waiting.
[Clears Throat] I thought that last girl was kind of interesting. Did you?
- Really? - I thought she read it better than the others.
I know, but Claire's suPPosed to be classy.
Didn't you think she was a little on the cheaP side?
- CheaP? - To be Perfectly honest, I thought she radiated stuPidity.
- StuPidity? - I mean, her reading was comPetent enough...
but, my God, it's like her Persona...
it's trashy and dumb.
Well, you know, I think I'd like to use her. She was interesting.
- You're the director. - It's not that big a Part, Ellie.
But it's a featured role. Claire's suPPosed to be a socialite, for God sakes.
This girl, "Lori Fox," she's like a steP above trailer Park.
- Well, I would hardly call her trailer Park. - I said a steP above.
Well, I'd like to use her. I thought she was Perfect for the role.
Fine. I mean, it's your decision. I'm just throwing out ideas.
You can take 'em or leave 'em.
Two for Yeager, Please.
- They're clearing your table, Mr. Yeager. - Thank you.
I am so glad that you could come in. I really am.
I was here on business and I wanted an excuse to see you.
- I didn't want you to think I was crowding you. - I know you, you know.
You're checking uP on me. Everything's going really fine. It is.
- And Val? - Val's Val. He seems reasonably flexible.
- Most of his ideas are really good. You'll see. - I hoPe so.
- Right this way. - Thank you.
- There are no Personal feelings that make it seem awkward? - No, no.
- I think he's accePted things and moved on. - Good. By the way...
Andrea Ford's going to be covering the making of the film for Esquire.
Oh, no kid... Hey, Val. We were just talking about you.
Hey, Val. Ellie was telling me how well things are going.
- [Stammering] - How are you? Good to see you. Everything all right?
- What are you doing here? - What do you mean, "What am I doing..."
- No, what are you doing here at this moment? - We used to eat here.
- Hal came in on a Plane a few hours ago. - That's the best way to fly.
What are you doing in this restaurant at this moment?
What do you mean? We're coming in to get a bite... Are you all right?
[Ellie] You're awfully fidgety or something.
- What are you doing? Are you okay? - Yes, no, I'm fine.
I was just thinking you should go to your table because it's crowded here.
- I'm ready to go. - It's the woman that was at the audition today.
- [Giggling] That's very funny. - Hello, miss.
- Aren't you going to introduce me? - It's Lori Fox, isn't it?
- Yes, of course. - I think it was.
Yes. Val is such a riot. StoP kidding around.
I just... I really wanted to Put your mind at ease...
that just because I'm the director's significant other, I can still act.
- Hi. - [Man] Hal?
- Hey, Mort. How are you? I thought you were in AsPen. - I wish.
- You know Ellie, my fiancée? - Hi. How are you?
- Hi. I'm Lori Fox. Nice to meet you. - F-F-Fiancée?
- Congratulations. When's the date? - New Year's Eve.
My goodness, how romantic. That's wonderful.
- Congratulations on your new film. - You know Val Waxman.
- Of course. Sure. We sued him... - Fiancée?
- for failure to comPlete a Picture. - That makes me feel secure.
I'll see you tomorrow, Val.
Hurry! I'll miss my flight.
This is not a good time for you to go away. I'm very vulnerable.
If I'm gonna be in this movie, I have to get into shaPe.
This sPa is the only way I'll ever have the disciPline.
- But you're not overweight. - Oh, my God! I'm a horse.
- I have to aPPear in lingerie. - What if we need you?
It's a ten-week shooting schedule. My scene doesn't come until the very end.
What if I need you? I'm going through a bad time.
You'll be fine. You'll be fine. You're a big boy.
Oh, geez. You know, I'm afraid to sleeP alone.
l-l-I keeP thinking PeoPle are breaking in. I lay awake all night...
thinking of death and the blackness and the abyss.
Oh, oh, don't forget to water my cactus.
- Call me every day. - I can't. They don't have any Phones at Dolby Ranch.
They want to discourage secret eating schemes.
- [Woman Over P.A., Indistinct] - Oh! Oh! Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Okay, I gotta go. Gotta go!
[Man] And we want to see the earrings. Profile.
Other profile, please. And cut.
Thank you.
Is it true your cameraman sPeaks only Chinese?
Yes, Mandarin. It's so hard to find a good Cantonese cameraman these days.
Neighborhoods just don't have them anymore.
Hal Yeager's known to be very hands-on, very hot-temPered...
quick to rePlace PeoPle.
- Does that bother you? - No, because the deal is...
they're going to leave me alone during the shooting.
- I have comPlete freedom. - How about working so closely with your ex-wife?
Well, it's not so close. She'lljust be uP and back. It's not going to be that close.
Well, there must be some bitterness.
EsPecially now that she's going to marry Hal Yeager, the man she left you for...
who's now your boss?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm Andrea Ford. I'm going to be doing the story...
on the making of the movie for Esquire.
- Oh, really. Are you? - Yeah. Yeah. Didn't they tell you?
I'm going to be observing the whole time.
'Cause I don't usually like, you know, when journalists hang around the set...
- and observe when I work. - Take that uP with the Press dePartment.
But don't worry. I won't get in your way.
I Promise. I am a huge fan.
- [Clears Throat] Yes? - Oh, huge.
I have loved all of your movies.
Oh, well, you know...
And you'll be hanging around doing a story here?
Yes. Because, in fact, I've always thought of you as a unique American artist.
Oh. Well, I'm sure you won't be in the way here.
You know, there's Plenty of room and you can have...
Val. Hey, gosh, I'm so sorry. Can I steal him for a minute?
- I really was about to... - Some things we have to go over.
I'll get him right back to you. I'm so sorry. In one minute. I'm so sorry.
- You need to be careful. She is a killer. - She's a killer?
I didn't think it was a good idea having her around all the time.
But then the Press dePartment told Hal that they could get the cover of Esquire and so...
- How is she a killer? She loves me. - Well, that's fine.
I mean, if she likes you, you know. Otherwise, she can be biting.
- Really? - I hear she's all sugar and sweetness...
and gets into your good graces and then wham!
She kePt telling Sean Madigan how she loved all of his films and she was a big fan.
How he was a great, I don't know, unique American artist.
- Really? - And then in the Profile, she disemboweled him.
You know, if you haPPen to fall for that kind of flattery...
- I can handle it, though. - Please. You couldn't handle Shirley TemPle.
Give me a break, will ya?
You know, I can't figure it out.
It's okay to have an affair with Hal Yeager, but...
you know, everyone is entitled to have one Psychotic ePisode in their lives, but...
- to marry the guy is... - Honestly, I wouldn't talk if I were you.
- What does that mean? - I don't know.
How long have you been living with that wind-uP doll I met?
You know I don't like to sleeP alone. For God's sakes, I'm not going to marry her.
And that wind-uP doll haPPens to have a Ph.D.
In what? History of gym?
Hey, look. Will you give me a break with the cutting remarks?
I got a Picture to do Tuesday. I'm thinking about my work.
I want you to get some rest this weekend, okay?
And don't lie around the whole time worrying about everything that could go wrong.
Don't worry. I'm not going to lie around.
I've got my hand on the wheel, honey. This Picture's in the bank.
[Woman] Amanda, honey, who is it?
- I don't know. Uncle Al, it's for you. - [All Groaning]
- Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - A man or woman?
- Hello? - Al, you gotta get over here right away.
Why? What's wrong? I'm at my sister's for a Seder.
Al, you gotta get over here. This is a matter of life and death!
- [Knocking On Door] - It's open. Come in!
- [Door Closes] - What is it?
What's going on? What am I doing here?
Al, I going to try to exPlain this to you.
I came home, and I started to make notes on the scriPt, you know...
because we shoot Tuesday and I wanted, you know... then I started to get nervous.
So, I sat down on the sofa, and I was doing my deeP-breathing exercises...
just to stay calm, you know?
And it was working, and I started to relax, and I dozed off.
Then I slePt for a while. Then I woke uP, Al...
and... I can't see anything.
- What? - I'm blind. I'm blind, Al.
What?
I'm blind. I'm blind. I can't see.
- What do you mean, you can't see? - What do I mean?
Those guys in the street with the dark glasses and accordions?
What are you talking about? Are you trying?
Al, you can't try and see.
You look around and you see or you don't see. I don't see.
- How can you be blind? - Howthe hell do I know how I can be blind?
- I'm... Al, I'm scared. - What did you eat?
What's the difference what I ate?
You-You-You can't lose your vision from a Plate of tofu.
- l-I never heard of anything like this. - Yes. I did.
- Remember the actor Harvey Gates? - Yeah?
- He lost his vision suddenly. - From what?
- GraPefruit. - Grapefruit?
Yes, he had a tumor the size of a graPefruit on his brain.
- And he went blind? - Yes, he went blind...
and-and a few months later he went dead...
which is worse than blind 'cause your oPtions decrease.
Relax. You don't have a brain tumor.
Al, with all due respect...
I have to hear that from somebody who went to a greater medical school...
than the William Morris agency.
We'll get you to Dr. Mason. You still use Mason, right?
No. Mason droPPed dead on the treadmill. I use Koch.
You know, I use Koch too. Did you bumP into anything?
Did you fall? Did you bumP your head or something?
I didn't bumP my head. Nothing! Al, I got a brain tumor. That's the story here.
l-l... The end is in sight. I see the wall.
- I thought you said you couldn't see. - It's an exPression.
I don't actually mean I see a wall. It's in my mind's eye.
Listen. I remember that Ellie and I took you to the hosPital...
You insisted on taking you to the hosPital because you were convinced...
- you had hoof-and-mouth disease. - Oh, God. Ellie!
Look, if I die, Al, tell Ellie I'm sorry I said all those things to her.
I said terrible things to her. I called her all kinds of names.
- Probably because I never stoPPed loving her. - [Chuckling] You're not dying.
Well, if I don't die, tell her she's a tramP and she's living with a guy...
the best you could say about him is sometimes he returns Phone calls.
Oh, Dr. Koch. It's Al Hack here.
I'm sorry to call you at home on holiday, but I'm sitting here with Val Waxman...
Okay, you can sit back now.
- So-So, what is the story? - Well, your oPtic nerve is normal.
- Your eye exam is normal. I don't see anything. - Wonderful.
You don't see anything? I don't see anything either. That's the Problem.
Any tumor large enough to imPact on his vision so dramatically would show uP.
I only wish I was in as good health as he is.
This is a textbook scenario. Physically, you're 100 Percent.
But just like someone who has an hysterical Paralysis...
a Patient who's fine but he can't walk...
or a Patient who loses his or her voice...
from witnessing a horrible shock or any extreme, stress-related trauma...
Being a film director, your inner-conflicts...
have chosen to exPress themselves in this very telling fashion.
You're Psychosomatically blind.
- How can I get rid of it? - By treatment.
By understanding the roots of your conflict...
- there's every chance that this blindness will go away. - How quickly?
Well, real growth is always very slow.
- [Door Closes] - There goes my comeback.
You cannot breathe a word of this to anybody.
I gotta tell 'em, Al. You know, I just dread telling Ellie.
Are you nuts? They'll fire you.
Fire me? I obviously can't direct the Picture.
What are you talking about? How can you blow this shot?
What are you talking about? I'm blind.
- Nobody knows. - What the hell does that mean? What are you suggesting?
If you Pull out of this Project now because Psychological stress...
has caused you to lose your sight, you'll never work again.
- They'll burn your union card. - Maybe they could postpone it.
Oh, yeah, because you're blind?
Val, direct this Picture and bring in a hit...
or I leave you with two words: homeless man.
- I can't direct... How can l... - I'm telling you how.
You're going to muddle your way through until your sight returns.
Al, I can't direct a Picture. I'm blind.
Have you seen some of the Pictures out there?
The first five minutes they'll catch me.
Maybe they will, maybe they won't.
If they do, you're no worse off than if you confess...
because you're finished in the business anyway.
You gotta be joking. I'll take one steP on the set, I'll break my neck.
No, no, no. I'll come with you.
They won't let you. The actors get nervous when agents hang around.
It's against Galaxie Policy.
Listen. Once you get on the set, you get relaxed, you won't even need me.
There's no way to do this. I would have to take somebody into my confidence.
Absolutely not. No. Never. Not a hint. This can't get out.
You will direct a hit Picture.
Sometimes God works in strange ways.
Like Job.
[Chattering]
[Andrea's Voice] Notes on "Making of The City That Never SleePs."
First morning atmosphere is upbeat. Lots of eager anticipation.
People moving lights.
Actors and actresses all ready in costume and makeup.
Val Waxman is not the first one on the set.
Actually, a few minutes late.
- This is never going to work. - It's working Perfect. Just stand straight.
- Am I going to bumP into anything? - No, no, no.
I'll guide you. You don't trust me. You have to trust me.
- I gotta look funny. - You look Perfect. I'm telling you.
- l-l-l... - Look at this. How wonderful. Nice.
Good morning. Would you like anything? Any coffee?
- Coffee. Want some coffee? - Coffee. Yeah.
- No. No. No. I'm... No thank you. - Okay.
Well, the actors are here if you're ready to block the scene.
- Blo-Blo-Block the scene? - Yes. We could...
Listen, Val. Are you okay with the changes in the set?
- Oh, the set. It's beautiful. - Oh. It's great.
How do you feel about the background color? You satisfied?
It's blue and, you know, brown and yellow, but is it a little dark?
Beg your Pardon, who are you? I'm Al Hack. I'm his agent.
Al, can I sPeak to you a second?
- Yeah, uh, I'll be right back. Don't worry. I'll be right back. - Al?
- Yes, yes, yes? - Not that you're not welcome here. You know I love you.
- Yes, yes. - But, you know, this is a closed set.
Oh, well, you see, he really needs me. He likes me to be with him.
I know, but a man of your stature... an agent...
-you know, it intimidates PeoPle. - Oh...
- You look so good. Have you had any work done? -Just over here.
A little? 'Cause l... Who did you go to? Not that I need it...
- Fred. Fred. - but I'm thinking about it.
Oh, he's incredible. You got the best clients. Can you get me a Price?
I think that we may be like a little bit too light.
Would you Prefer that I take the whole thing one shade darker?
Eh, well, that's a... that's a Possibility.
What do you think? What would you do?
Well, I really don't know. It's Possible I could make the whole thing match the uPholstery.
That's another oPtion.
That's brilliant. That's what I would do. I would match the uPholstery.
Excuse me. Chief, what alarm clock would you like to go with?
- Uh, that one. That one. That one. - Which one?
- I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Which- - Yes. Yes. Yes.
- You like the wind-uP or the electric? - Yes. The wind-uP. Wind-uP.
- I like the wind-uP. - Val? Val? Excuse me. Excuse me, gentlemen.
Can I see you just for a second? Don't worry.
- Excuse me. - Al, this is not working.
Don't worry. Don't worry. It's going to work fine.
But you're right. It is a closed set, and I have to leave.
- You... - Listen to me. Listen to me. Just go to Plan "B."
- What is Plan "B"? We don't have a Plan "B." - We gotta find somebody...
who you trust who will helP you.
- Someone you can rely on. - You mean, tell someone the truth?
Yes. Somebody you can rely on. We'll get somebody who's around you all the time.
Who doesn't look odd, you know? Maybe the A.D.? What about the scriPt girl?
I can't do that. They'll get in trouble. If they get caught...
they'll never work in the business again.
l-I have a resPonsibility, Al, to Ellie and even to Hal.
You have a resPonsibility to yourself!
You have agent's ethics. I can't go by you.
Don't hit me with oxymorons at this time. We're in a crisis!
Wait a minute. Shh. What about the Chinese kid?
- The translator? - Yes, the translator. The translator.
He's a business student at NYU, right?
He doesn't care if he's in the movie business. If he gets caught, it's no big Penalty.
- Well, he is always around me. It's a natural-natural... - Yes, see?
Val, I've got the actors. We are ready for you.
Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll get you to the set. Take it easy. Take it easy.
I'll take you. I'll take you. It's gonna be fine.
If-lf I'm acting so crazy, everyone'll notice that I'm acting crazy.
Listen. You got a rePutation for being crazy.
This is the Perfect time for it to work in your favor. Watch out. One steP. One steP.
Ah, very good. Hey, can I have Mr. Waxman's chair here?
- The director needs his chair. Where is it? - Chair?
Thank you very much. Here, come sit. Look, your lucky chair.
- Oh. - Isn't that wonderful? Sit, sit, sit. Be relaxed.
Real good. Good luck.
- I can't work with outside PeoPle watching me. - Nobody's gonna be watching.
- Incidentally, you like this one or this one? - I like that one.
- This one? 'Cause this one's more like... - Yes, that one.
what they'd really use, but this one's more theatrical.
Well, you know, you can use this one if you'd like. But I Prefer that one.
- Which one? The first or the second? - This one.
- I'd like to make my entrance from the stairs. - [SPeaking Chinese]
[All Talking At Once]
Hold it. What... Who ordered? Who ordered? What's haPPening?
- How do you want me to kiss her? - What's haPPening here?
- Which way did you want me to kiss her? - [Stammering]
- You know, on the... on the mouth. - What about my mouth?
- No, kiss her on the mouth. - He hasn't seen here for six years.
We originally discussed some kind of Passionate way of grabbing her.
Oh, well, use both liPs.
Oh, excuse me. Could I talk to you just for a second?
- Me? - Yeah, just for a minute.
- Uh, they need me. - Well, actually, the director...
- The director asked me to talk to you. Yes. - Mr. Waxman?
[WhisPering] It's a chance to make some extra salary.
Now, you seem to be a very resPonsible young man. Are you?
- [Chinese] - You should move left.
You got me doing two things at once here. I can't work if I don't know what you want.
- You should cross left. - Wait. Me? You mean my left?
- If I cross my left, I'm going to bumP right into him. - You don't have to bumP me.
- I'm Probably going to knock him over. - Where is the translator?
- Excuse me. He's suPPosed to be on set. - [All Talking]
- Sir, I have a very imPortant message for you. - ImPortant message for me?
Um, I'm here to helP you. I know about your secret.
Don't!
Cut!
Very good. That was terrific. Was it very good? Was it very good?
Well, I don't see the dramatic imPact of it.
But it did seem a little imProvement from the random chaos...
-you were encouraging. - Oh, thank you. You didn't like the random chaos, huh?
Let's... Can we go again? Just for safety, one more?
Okay, sir, we're aPProaching a hallway right now.
So we're gonna walk slowly. There's nobody here.
- Practically nobody. - Okay.
- Be careful. - I'm trying to be casual, but it's extremely difficult.
- Oh, I know that... - Ooh! Sorry. Boss, you all right?
Yes. No, I'm fine. It was my fault comPletely. I forgive you.
Sir, he's gone. He's not there anymore. You're talking to air.
Why didn't you warn me?
I thought you saw him. This is very weird for me.
You thought I saw him? How am l...
- A few summers ago I did aid a deaf uncle. - You're going too fast.
Okay, slowly, slowly. It's very weird.
I was helPing out a deaf uncle a few summers ago...
but we didn't have to hide it like this.
Oh,Jesus, this is great.
Val, you wanna go with this one tomorrow or the big one?
Uh, well...
- Wow. These are beautiful Pocket watches. - Thanks.
I would go with the big one.
Val, um, how'd you feel the first day went?
The first day was, you know, like the first day.
It was like a shakedown where you weed out the malcontents.
Oh, good. I'd love to sPeak to you for a few minutes if you're not too busy and all.
- l-l... - Well, sir, uh...
you said you wanted me to show me that, uh, Piece of jade?
-Jade? - You know what? If you have work to do...
we'll do this some other time.
- Yes, I do. l-l... - Okay. Thank you.
Sorry, sir. That's all I could think of to extricate you.
You realize there's no Piece of jade.
Yes, I get it. I get it. There's no jade.
Hey, everything okay?
So far our consPiracy has gone undetected.
Perfect. I'm taking you to your shrink right now.
Listen. Same drill tomorrow, Chou.
Don't worry. I'll Practice casual banter.
Very good. Good. Nice to see you.
[Andrea's Voice] To observe Val Waxman directing...
one would think he has no idea what he's doing.
I wonder if he is one of those cinema geniuses...
who thrive on chaos, like Fellini.
He always seems distracted.
He never looks anyone in the eye...
and must be juggling a million things in his mind at once.
It's easy to see why his reputation is one of an eccentric.
I notice, too, as the weeks go by...
what a great interest he has in the photography...